I choose YOU, Lord!

So I must admit that I am in a bit of a funk today...disappointment is trying to get the best of me. Thankfully I have a beautiful brown-eyed (or gray-eyed depending on the day) girl playing on the floor, offering me big cheeky grins. It is hard not to smile with that sweetness!

But, I am bummed out, friends...just bummed. I was supposed to be on a plane early Wednesday morning to fly to my wonderful hometown for a three week vacation...a time to share with my very dear family and blessed friends...a time to relax and maybe actually get a little bit of sleep...a time to be spoiled and to spoil...a time to not have so many people trying to get a piece of my time and attention...a time to let my guard down a little (or maybe even a lot) and just unwind. It was going to be a marvelous time...and really what I am I saying. It still will be a marvelous time. I just won't be leaving until next week thanks to all the natural disasters happening here in Guatemala. My flight was canceled for this week and moved until next week. Hence, the sour spirit...

I know you are probably thinking..."Seriously, Sara...it is just a few days...it isn't a big deal." And, well you are right. But, my flesh says, "You paid DOUBLE for this ticket than what you usually pay...and now you aren't even going to get to be there for as long as you normally would be. That is NOT FAIR." (For those of you wondering why I would choose to pay double for a ticket, it is because Miss B. and I have to leave the country by the beginning of July to renew her visa while we finish up here paperwork here...SO I can't postpone the trip until another time.) How many times has your flesh said that to you? It just isn't fair...life isn't fair...this isn't fair.

But, I am choosing the Lord today...not listening to my flesh. Because you know what...life isn't fair. It is the truth. Life isn't fair. Sometimes stinky stuff happens. I could extend my ticket as well and stay longer so that I could get the full amount of time as I usually do and then maybe feel a little bit better about the absolutely outrageous price I had to pay for our ticket. However, one of my sweet girls is having her big 15th birthday celebration the week I am supposed to come back. 15th birthdays are big deal here in Guatemala...a really BIG deal, and for now at least, I am her mama. Her mama has to be here with her...to celebrate her beautiful life and to fix her hair and help her with her fancy dress and put on her make-up and just make her feel like the princess that she is. There is no choice for me. I will be here for her birthday.(barring no other natural disasters or airport closures).

You want to know what is really not fair though...92 people have died over the last 5 days here in Guatemala...and that number is rising daily. Many are still lost or buried beneath pounds of mud or lying lifeless and flat at the bottom of a river. Thousands are homeless and without a place to go for their basic necessities. Thousands have lost every material possession they owned. One of our brothers here in Guate. had to pull a family out of the rumble...a couple and their baby. The couple was dead and the baby was alive. Please let this all sink in...not to make you sad or depressed but so that you and your family and your friends and your church can realize the realities of what is happening in the world...what others are suffering while life goes on as normal. And, this is all in a country that already has one of the largest number of orphans in the world...a country that has the lowest literacy rate in Central America and is at the bottom of the list world-wide as well. This is a country that has one of the highest crime rates in the world...a country that has miles and miles of metal/wood/mud houses lining every mountainside. That is what I call "NOT FAIR."

{Side note: For those of you unaware of what I am referring to, the last five days have brought a volcanic eruption, an earthquake, and a hurricane here to Guatemala}

My poor parents were quite worried about us over the weekend. We lost electricity so I was unable to communicate with them to let them know that sparing a few fallen trees and the lack of power and water, we were doing okay. But, I told them the same thing I will say today...there is no where in the world I would rather be. As we all sat around the table with only a few small candles burning, I was thanking Jesus that He counted me worthy enough to work with these amazing children, in this amazing country, at this amazing orphanage. Sure things are scary here sometimes. Sure I miss the calm and just the normality of life back in the states. Sure I hate living so far away from my family and friends. Sure there are days I get tired of having to constantly modify or even completely alter my old way of doing things. But, I love life my life here in Guatemala. I love it for many reasons, but most of all I love it because I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what God wants me to do.

So, yes I may be a bit bummed...a bit sour over the change in my plans. But, really that is not that big of a deal....especially not compared to what so many others are suffering. So, I plead with you dear friends...pray for my beloved country Guatemala. Pray for the people suffering here...suffering and asking the Lord "Why me...why us...it is just not fair." Pray that their hearts turn to the Lord in this hard time and that His face shines upon them. Pray for revival here and for the people to rise up in the face of adversity a stronger, mightier "Pueblo de Dios."

Dana  – (May 31, 2010 at 7:56 PM)  

Thanks for the update Sara! Thank you for your honesty of life serving the Lord. The reality breaks through the romantic notions that so easily go along with "missionary life". Standing with you guys and praying for continued safety and strength. I pray that your trip, shorter as it may be, will go beyond your expectations of rest and quality time with loved ones. Love you!

Grace Wheeler  – (June 1, 2010 at 3:05 PM)  

My sweet, sweet Sara! Did you get my reply to your e-mail? Love you and praying for you!

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Some bits and bobbits about this blog...

This blog is mostly just ramblings by yours truly. I talk about my ups and downs being a wife, mother, and missionary in Guatemala. I have a tendency to get off on "soapboxes" as those who love me say but it is my desire that this blog can be a place of encouragement in each of your pilgrimages with Christ. At any moment if this blog becomes more about me than about Christ, than it will be done and over...so please help me stay accountable. To God be all the Glory, Honor, and Power!

Books I am currently reading...

  • Eight Twenty Eight
  • Interrupted
  • The Connected Child
  • This Momentary Marriage
  • Unbroken

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