Sorry it has been so long friends. Our internet here in Guatemala has been less than reliable. I have limited time on the internet, and well frankly, I just haven’t had the time to blog. I have missed you though and missed writing. I wish I would make the time to write even when I am not blogging, but unfortunately I just don’t. I will say though that not having internet has made me a way better Mama. Even though, I hate to admit it. I just have to be so diligent in my time on the computer…making sure I am getting all my work done but since I am not doing it from home, I just get it done and then go home and play with my kids. Miss B. has been sleeping so much better, and I am convinced it is because I take her to play much more than I did before. Mr. A is getting lots more one on one time with me. I think so often when I had the internet in my house I always had work hanging over my head, so I would chose to get things done online instead of hanging out with my kids like I should have been doing. I do hope that we get internet soon as I am really missing my family back home, and we haven’t really been able to chat much since it stopped working. But, I am making a commitment to myself and my children to set aside a set time to work and to dedicate the rest of the time to my family. In the long run, I think everyone wins.

Well, anyway, I just finished maybe the most amazing book I have ever read. I don’t say that lightly either because I have read a lot of amazing and wonderful books. It is really my passion, so I have spent many hours doing it. However, this book has rocked my world in a way that I am not sure any other book as done in a really long time. It is by Eric Metaxas, and it is called Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. It is not a short read. It finishes out at 542 pages before end notes, and it is a very heavy book, but for those of you up for that kind of a read, I highly, highly recommend it. I became familiar with Dietrich Bonhoeffer in college when I read his book The Cost of Discipleship, but honestly, I didn’t really ever take the time to learn much more about the man behind the book. This biography is stunning though…seriously, it literally took my breath away at some points. There is so much I didn’t know…so much I never understood.

I remember the first time I read a book that really stuck with me. It was Number the Stars in the seventh grade. I remember that I couldn’t sleep sometimes after reading it. It just shook my little idyllic world, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. This book did the same thing. Hubby finally told me that I couldn’t read it before bed anymore because I would dream about it and toss and turn just thinking about it. Ironically enough, both books shed light to more of the horrific happenings of Hitler in Germany in the 30’s and 40’s. The first time, though, my world was rocked because I was really hearing about some of this stuff for the first time. I can’t pinpoint the first moment I learned about World War II and Hitler and concentration camps, etc. But, reading Number the Stars was the first time the event actually had real faces and names. Then of course more of that came to life while reading The Diary of Anne Frank and other works about people and events during that time. This time, though, I was still shocked and appalled by things that were happening to the Jews and other religious leaders in Germany during Hitler and the Nazis’ reign. There were literally moments that I had to put the book down and compose myself because it was just too much. However, the thing that really resonated with me the most was the man…Dietrich Bonhoeffer and his fight against the Nazis and Hitler.

The thing is he wasn’t fighting for himself. Bonhoeffer came from one of the most prestigious families in all of Germany. He could have stayed on the sidelines and just waited the whole thing out. Of course one of his brothers in law was a Jew, but after smuggling him and his sister into England, he could have just lived a quiet life and just waited until the whole ugly war and Hitler’s reign was over. But, no…he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He refused. He knew that doing nothing was in fact doing something…it was making the choice to not do anything…to not stand up in the face of injustice, to not fight for those who could not fight for themselves, to not die to self and to instead choose self-preservation. I won’t go on any further because Bonhoeffer says it way better himself. Here he is referring to people that are moral, ethical, go to church, and try to “be a good people.” He says,

“Such people neither steal, nor murder, nor commit adultery, but do good according to their abilities. But…they must close their eyes and ears to the injustice around them. Only at the cost of self-deception can they keep their private blamelessness clean from the stains of responsible action in the world. In all that they do, what they fail to do will not let them rest. They will either be destroyed by this unrest, or they will become the most hypocritical of all Pharisees.”

There is so much I could say….so much that I wish I could just put into words. But, the bottom line is this: we are surrounded by suffering. Of course, I probably see it more clearly due to the type of work that I do and the environment I live in. But, suffering is all around us. And, who knows what is ahead of us. But, we must resolve now to NOT do nothing. We must resolve to stand up and fight. It won’t be easy. It will usually require great sacrifice, but as sojourners with Christ, we must be willing.

In Bonhoeffer’s case, this sacrifice ended with his death in a concentration camp. It all just seems so unfair. Even though I knew how he died before even starting the book, I wanted to cry when it finally happened. It was like watching a movie for the first time…only I already knew how it ended. But, there was still a part of me hoping for his rescue, hoping he was going to be saved from an early demise. He was engaged to be married! He could have been part of the rebuilding of Germany and especially of the church. He was only 39…way too young to die! But many years before Bonhoeffer found himself in that concentration camp and way before he knew what his future held, he preached these words:

“Who can comprehend how those whom God takes so early are chosen? Does not the early death of young Christians always appear to us as if God were plundering his own best instruments in a time in which they are most needed? Yet the Lord makes no mistakes. Might God need our brothers for some hidden service on our behalf in the heavenly world? We should put an end to our human thoughts, which always wish to know more than they can, and cling to that which is certain. Whomever God calls home is someone God has loved…”

He didn’t know what awaited him. He had no idea that these words would be true about him in only a few short years. Yet, it didn’t matter. God had called him. He must choose obedience. And, he did.


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Some bits and bobbits about this blog...

This blog is mostly just ramblings by yours truly. I talk about my ups and downs being a wife, mother, and missionary in Guatemala. I have a tendency to get off on "soapboxes" as those who love me say but it is my desire that this blog can be a place of encouragement in each of your pilgrimages with Christ. At any moment if this blog becomes more about me than about Christ, than it will be done and please help me stay accountable. To God be all the Glory, Honor, and Power!

Books I am currently reading...

  • Eight Twenty Eight
  • Interrupted
  • The Connected Child
  • This Momentary Marriage
  • Unbroken

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