I choose YOU, Lord!

So I must admit that I am in a bit of a funk today...disappointment is trying to get the best of me. Thankfully I have a beautiful brown-eyed (or gray-eyed depending on the day) girl playing on the floor, offering me big cheeky grins. It is hard not to smile with that sweetness!

But, I am bummed out, friends...just bummed. I was supposed to be on a plane early Wednesday morning to fly to my wonderful hometown for a three week vacation...a time to share with my very dear family and blessed friends...a time to relax and maybe actually get a little bit of sleep...a time to be spoiled and to spoil...a time to not have so many people trying to get a piece of my time and attention...a time to let my guard down a little (or maybe even a lot) and just unwind. It was going to be a marvelous time...and really what I am I saying. It still will be a marvelous time. I just won't be leaving until next week thanks to all the natural disasters happening here in Guatemala. My flight was canceled for this week and moved until next week. Hence, the sour spirit...

I know you are probably thinking..."Seriously, Sara...it is just a few days...it isn't a big deal." And, well you are right. But, my flesh says, "You paid DOUBLE for this ticket than what you usually pay...and now you aren't even going to get to be there for as long as you normally would be. That is NOT FAIR." (For those of you wondering why I would choose to pay double for a ticket, it is because Miss B. and I have to leave the country by the beginning of July to renew her visa while we finish up here paperwork here...SO I can't postpone the trip until another time.) How many times has your flesh said that to you? It just isn't fair...life isn't fair...this isn't fair.

But, I am choosing the Lord today...not listening to my flesh. Because you know what...life isn't fair. It is the truth. Life isn't fair. Sometimes stinky stuff happens. I could extend my ticket as well and stay longer so that I could get the full amount of time as I usually do and then maybe feel a little bit better about the absolutely outrageous price I had to pay for our ticket. However, one of my sweet girls is having her big 15th birthday celebration the week I am supposed to come back. 15th birthdays are big deal here in Guatemala...a really BIG deal, and for now at least, I am her mama. Her mama has to be here with her...to celebrate her beautiful life and to fix her hair and help her with her fancy dress and put on her make-up and just make her feel like the princess that she is. There is no choice for me. I will be here for her birthday.(barring no other natural disasters or airport closures).

You want to know what is really not fair though...92 people have died over the last 5 days here in Guatemala...and that number is rising daily. Many are still lost or buried beneath pounds of mud or lying lifeless and flat at the bottom of a river. Thousands are homeless and without a place to go for their basic necessities. Thousands have lost every material possession they owned. One of our brothers here in Guate. had to pull a family out of the rumble...a couple and their baby. The couple was dead and the baby was alive. Please let this all sink in...not to make you sad or depressed but so that you and your family and your friends and your church can realize the realities of what is happening in the world...what others are suffering while life goes on as normal. And, this is all in a country that already has one of the largest number of orphans in the world...a country that has the lowest literacy rate in Central America and is at the bottom of the list world-wide as well. This is a country that has one of the highest crime rates in the world...a country that has miles and miles of metal/wood/mud houses lining every mountainside. That is what I call "NOT FAIR."

{Side note: For those of you unaware of what I am referring to, the last five days have brought a volcanic eruption, an earthquake, and a hurricane here to Guatemala}

My poor parents were quite worried about us over the weekend. We lost electricity so I was unable to communicate with them to let them know that sparing a few fallen trees and the lack of power and water, we were doing okay. But, I told them the same thing I will say today...there is no where in the world I would rather be. As we all sat around the table with only a few small candles burning, I was thanking Jesus that He counted me worthy enough to work with these amazing children, in this amazing country, at this amazing orphanage. Sure things are scary here sometimes. Sure I miss the calm and just the normality of life back in the states. Sure I hate living so far away from my family and friends. Sure there are days I get tired of having to constantly modify or even completely alter my old way of doing things. But, I love life my life here in Guatemala. I love it for many reasons, but most of all I love it because I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what God wants me to do.

So, yes I may be a bit bummed...a bit sour over the change in my plans. But, really that is not that big of a deal....especially not compared to what so many others are suffering. So, I plead with you dear friends...pray for my beloved country Guatemala. Pray for the people suffering here...suffering and asking the Lord "Why me...why us...it is just not fair." Pray that their hearts turn to the Lord in this hard time and that His face shines upon them. Pray for revival here and for the people to rise up in the face of adversity a stronger, mightier "Pueblo de Dios."

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Home.Volcanic Eruptions.Baby Weight

So, I am not sure if all you other Mamas out there can relate or not, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with my blog. It isn't for a lack of interesting thoughts or ideas either. I think I am spending a good part of each day writing new blog posts in my head. Now in those particular moments, it is probably just a lot of mumbo jumbo; however, with a little bit of time, most of those thoughts could probably make for interesting posts.

Recently, I have been processing what the word "home" means...and what kind of thoughts the word illicit. Whenever I hear the word, my mind quickly races to memories of a nice, breezy autumn afternoon with the windows open and the smell of my mama's fragrant candles wafting through the house. I also think about dinners around the kitchen table (all of us in our usual spots) and conversations about the superficial and the super complex and profound. I smile at the memory of my whole family sleeping on the floor in the living room, with no lights beyond the glow of the fireplace as the snow storm knocked out all the power....and me lying there thinking this was the best night of my whole life. I remember the security I felt as each night after my parents went to bed, I could hear them whispering to each other in the dark. I don't know what they were saying but I do know the joy I felt inside my heart knowing how much they still enjoyed each others company.

Anyway, I have been pondering the word because I have been thinking about how the Bible talks about how our home is not here on earth but in heaven. For me that is a concept I can grasp...a picture I can grab a hold of. I know what "home" feels like, smells like, even tastes like. I have seen it and experienced it, and I know that I know that I know it is one of the best things in the world. So, when my circumstances here on earth seem bleak or I worry about what a life as an MK means for my children or I start to get scared about the future of this world, etc., I can take heart and rest in my Father's promise that a better home awaits my family and me in heaven. As I look at my sweet 14 princesses and as I continue to hear more of their stories and see first hand the scars that their "homes" have left on them...forever earthly scars, my heart breaks. When I share with them God's promise of a heavenly home awaiting them, really it isn't much different than promising a child a trip to the greatest amusement park when that child has no concept of what an amusement park even is.

All this to say, I have been treating my "work" a little bit differently since these thoughts started running through my head. Am I making a "home" for my girls...a place filled with beautiful memories that they will take with them long after they leave this physical house. This is not meant to be mistaken for more material goods...a better house or better clothes or more trips to fun places...no a home isn't about any of those things (as I am sure any rich kid with distant parents would tell you). A home cannot be purchased. It cannot be decorated. It can only be felt...and it is felt through the depths of one's soul. Although my darling "daughters" real homes await them in heaven one day. I want this home...this home that God has placed my precious husband and I to lead to be a home that is so special and wonderful that it only causes a great stir, anticipation and eagerness for God's great home in heaven. But, how can I expect them to eagerly await something they have never seen. "Oh God please help us to make this home...at least home for now until they can meet You in their forever home..."

How does all of this relate to "Baby Weight" and "Volcanic Eruptions" you may ask?? Well, the fact of that matter is, I am only 10 pounds away from being at my pre baby weight size and only 18 (the aforementioned 10 pounds and the 8 additional happy marriage pounds!) more pounds away from being exactly where I want to be...my ideal weight for my size and height... Super exciting I know...well for me at least! Jillian Michaels has been helping me rip those last pounds off...I say rip because I am SO sore. Anywhoo...back to the topic at hand. This all goes together because God has just been totally convicting me on the fact that part of having a wonderful home here on earth is having wonderful parents leading that home. I think that often times we superficialize (is that even a word??? if not, just roll with it...I make words up ALL the time in Spanish and it totally works!) body image or weight loss or the importance of healthy living. We take Peter's command to women to "not let our adorning be external..." to mean "don't spend time worrying about how I look", and I am going to just flat out say I don't think that is what Peter meant. Yes, my adorning should be "the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." I say amen to that, sister! However, I also think that part of being a virtuous woman is to care for my temple. Hear me out though. I am not saying obsess about our weight and our bodies and our clothes and our hair,etc. I am saying to care about and care for our temples. This means I need to eat right, exercise, and just in general live a healthy life so that my one and only earthly temple can keep up with all this wonderful "homemaking" God has given me to do.

So in short..because well frankly this is already LONG...no one ever said I was a woman of a few words....anyways, IN SHORT, I am feeling good about this weight loss and in the general direction I am headed as far as healthy living goes. I think that helps to make me a better wife, a better mama, and a better teacher for these precious kiddos. So all I have to say about that is "To God be the glory!"

I will conclude with a few pictures of our snow...I mean ASH covered campus today. A volcano erupted last night about 40 km away, and as a result, it literally rained volcanic ash last night. It was kind of cool, I must say, but also super sad as three for sure died and several more are missing. Not to mention that some lost all their houses, etc. So please pray...

With that, I will go...Already SO LONG!

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I am one blessed WIFE!

Well, friends, I decided to link up once again with my K.S. on her McLinky Monday and share all the reasons why I love my hubby! I REALLY wanted to do this one since she announced it, and I was so afraid I wouldn't have time as Mondays are always SUPER busy around here. But, I always like a chance to brag about my sweet man, so even though I really should go to bed right now, I am going to give it a whirl! Now, of course these aren't ALL the reasons. I am pretty sure everyday I discover new reasons why I love him, but these are a few. I really love doing stuff like this because it makes me stop and just APPRECIATE all these wonderful attributes of his. I think all marriages would be a lot healthier and better if all wives and husbands took just a couple of minutes everyday to be thankful for all the reasons that makes his/her spouse the BEST!

I love mi amado (my beloved) because....

* He always calls me "my lady." He uses it when he talks about me to others as well as when he speaks to me. It truly makes me feel like his Queenie (which is his other pet name for me)

* He loves bathing our kiddos...really and truly. I could count on one hand the amount of times I have given baths to either of our kids. He just loves that time to play with them and just spend time with them since he is usually gone working all day.

* He is the BEST Daddy ever. He loves our children with a love that is pure and truly from the Lord. He is their best friend, their biggest cheerleader, their leader, their protector, and a wonderful example of a disciple of Jesus.

*He knows me SOOOO well. It is almost annoying sometimes because it is like he knows what am I thinking before I even say it. He notices little patterns in my behavior that I am sometimes completely oblivious to.

* He is my very best friend in the world. He was my best friend the day I married him and he has only become more so since we have grown together as husband and wife. He is my favorite person to spend time with and I never tire of his company.

* He has NEVER yelled or even raised his voice to anyone (with the exception of soccer games! hehe). He knows how to correct our children or even me sometimes with only a few wise words.

* He is so hard to be mad at! Seriously, I can get so worked up but he makes me laugh so much that I never make it too long before I am rolling with laughter with him...this is especially true when he does impressions of me using his best "Sara voice" while saying my favorite phrases

*I have a vase that always has fresh flowers in it...and he always tries to find new ones that I have never seen.

* He loves hanging out with my family, and when we are in the states, he stops by my grandparent's house and my great-grandma's house every time he goes running. He encourages my time with them and loves that we are so close. Best of all, he wants to be close to them as well.

* He always pushes me to do my best and doesn't let me settle for mediocrity.

* He is probably the HARDEST working man that I have ever met. Even when he is supposed to be resting, he finds little ways to help.

* He has cleaned up poop and vomit from every member of my family and never said one word of complaint!

* He always gives people the benefit of the doubt and never has an unkind word to say about another person.

* He is totally honest and a man of his word. If he tells he is going to do something, it is because he really is going to do it! You can take his word to the bank.

* His eyes are fixed on the eternal always. He doesn't get caught up on things here on earth and he is continually reminding me to keep my eyes firmly fixed there as well. He doesn't worry and fret over things...ever.

* He cares about my opinion and always asks me what I think...whether work related, family related, spiritual, or even about his clothing.

* He truly doesn't mind shopping with me and even likes to help me pick out clothes!

* He is 100% faithful to me and our family. I have never even seen his eyes wander to a pretty girl. He is all mine and always will be! :)

Okay seriously, I could go ON and ON and ON...but eventually you all are going to stop reading. But, this was super fun! I will end with this one, though.

I love my husband because he loves the Lord more than he loves me or our kiddos or anyone else in this world. He is a man after the heart of Jesus and is striving to live a life completely surrendered to him. I trust him with my life and the life of our family and wherever he goes, I will go because I trust he is always following after our Lord!

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