Blogging...say what??

I am not sure if anyone even reads my blog anymore as it has been more than a year since I have updated it, but I have decided that I want to try and give it another go. Most days my heart is just so full, and I have so many things running through my head but no outlet for it all...so we will try the blogging world once again. I did a few renovations, and I think things are looking better....at least much more like my personality, so here goes nothing....

Life has definitely been busy over the last year since I made my last post anyway. Our adoption is finally almost finished (at least that is what we keep hearing) so soon our son will officially be ours. Although he is becoming more and more like the both of us with every passing day...he definitely has more of my personality but he walks, talks, and just acts like his daddy. We all were able to go back to KC in November and December so I could give birth to sweet Miss B. It was an amazing time for all of us, and my family fell completely in love with Andy. It was such a blessed time for us, and I am so thankful the Lord made it all possible.

I am loving being a mother more and more everyday. I was telling my Dad just the other day that it is so much better than I even imagined. I always was longing for the day I would be wife. I couldn't wait to be married and to just pour into my husband. I always knew that someday I wanted to be a Mom, but it wasn't something I really spent a whole lot of time pondering. I was always surrounded by children, so my life felt so completely full in that area. Once God opened the door for us to adopt , I knew a whole other kind of love that I never imagined, and my heart skipped a beat every time I heard him call me "Mami." It was and has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Now having Miss B. as well just makes life even more fun and amazing and incredible and every other kind of flowery word I can use to describe pure delight and wonder. I love being a wife and now I can say I love being a Mother. I love, love, love it, and I pray everyday that I am a mother than continues to point my children towards Christ...always in all that I say and do that I am that example.

I will say though that the most surprising thing about parenting is the fear that accompanies it...at least the fear that constantly plagues me and that I continue to have to surrender to the Lord. I would say that fear has been my greatest struggle my whole life...prior to coming to know the Lord and after walking with Him. Matthew 6:34 was the very first verse I ever memorized as I knew that my worry and fear was and still is a sin. This battle with fear has waxed and waned over the years, but it definitely has been rearing its ugly head the last few years....first as I began to really make Guatemala my home then as the mother of my son and now as the mother of both of my beautiful children. I could pick a hundred different things any given moment of any given day of things I fear for my kids and for their life and for their future. It is a constant battle, constant struggle, but it has been all the more of a reason to make sure I stay in the Word...and that every day I lay down my family...my husband and my precious children, our future, their future, our lives, our health, our safety, etc. at the feet of Jesus in the same way Abraham did Isaac and Hannah did Samuel....always remembering that they are the Lord's and His alone. He has only entrusted them to me and I would be doing them a great disservice if the example they learned from me was one of fear and worry and not one of faith and trust.

Until next time bloggers....