WHOM SHALL I FEAR
FEAR.
I AM AFRAID.
I CANNOT DO IT.
IT’S TOO MUCH!
IT’S NOT WORTH THE SACRFICE.
I have mentioned on many occasions on this very blog that
fear has been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. It is the “thorn in my side” if you
will. It is the thing that steals my
joy. It steals my moments. It is so often the
weapon Satan most often uses to defeat me.
I wish I could express the extent to which I have had to
battle this enemy.
But something has changed over the last 10 years. While fear is still an everyday part of my
life and something that I continue have to battle, it isn’t crippling me like
it once was. Oh there have still been
moments…and I am certain there will still be more…but it isn’t ruling my life
anymore.
There is only one reason why…
God has continued to put me in situations and experiences
that I have had to look right in the face my greatest fears. I have had to decide if fear was going to win
or if I was going to win. I was forced
to do things that were uncomfortable and at times even painful. I have had to wrestle with ugly and mean and
scary, over and over and over again.
The hard truth of this is that I probably will have to
again. I hate that. Sometimes just thinking about what God is
going to make me do next makes me have anxiety diarrhea…like really.
I don’t want hard. I
don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to go through experiences that are painful. I
don’t want to watch those I love suffer.
I don’t want to go to bed heavy and exhausted. I don’t want my heart to
ache as often as it does. I don’t want to cry silent tears in the shower. I don’t want those things and so often my
response to God when I experience those things is to say, “Where are you God? Where is your justice? Why aren’t you fighting for me? Why is this so hard? WHAT ABOUT MY RIGHTS?!”
So I know fear. I
know it well, and I know how it can ruin your life if you let it.
As I watch this refugee story unfold, I can’t help but feel
like so many are operating out of fear.
We are afraid because as we watch the events unfold in Paris and Iraq
and Syria and so many other places around the world, we think about how that
could be us or our family or our kids.
I was WRECKED by that picture of the little boy washed up on
the shore in Greece. I kept looking at
that picture and thinking about how it could have been my sweet little
boy. I could literally imagine his
lifeless body lying there too.
“Oh please Jesus don’t
let it be us! Please protect us! Don’t
let us ever taste that sorrow and grief!
Please oh Lord please don’t let it ever be us!” my heart cried.
But why oh why does my family have more right to safety,
security, opportunity, food, freedom, love, etc. than these other families? What did I do to deserve that? What did I do that was so special or right or
good that gave me the authority to decide that I get to have those things but
not others?
Nothing. I did nothing.
Guys, I am scared too.
Every single time I get on an airplane, I think about how that could be
the one that is used by a terrorist.
Just today I read that 5 Syrians were caught in Honduras trying to
illegally enter the US. I know that at
any time I could be in that place or my family could be in that place when all
hell breaks loose. That scares me to no
end.
But I refuse to let it rule me. I won’t let that fear rule my life and keep
me from doing what I know I am called to do.
I read these words a couple of weeks ago and they have
haunted me every since…
“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were
either cold or hot! So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I
will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and
I need nothing, not realizing that you are WRETCHED, PITIABLE, POOR, BLIND, and
NAKED. I counsel you to buy from me gold
refined by fire, so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your
nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see.”
–Revelations 3:15 – 18
I have read these verses before but this time it was
different because I know that most days I am longing for simple…for comfort…for
riches and prosperity even to a certain extend.
I don’t want to worry or fear, and somehow deep down, I think I feel
like if I am comfortable enough, rich enough, skinny enough, happy enough, good
enough even that all those worries and fears will disappear. I won’t have need anymore.
But this verse clearly says that if I have riches and
prosperity and need nothing, I will in fact be WRETCHED, PITIABLE, POOR, BLIND,
and NAKED.
That sounds horrible.
Nevertheless I know that is what is happening to so many
Christians. They have all they need so
they no longer need the Lord. But, He
asks us to seek gold refined by fire…this means it will have a cost! It will cost something. It will mean sacrifice.
I don’t want prosperity if I no longer am able to open
myself to the plight of those that are suffering. I don’t want riches without love. I don’t want comfort if it means I no longer
have need.
We have got to stop hoarding it all for ourselves. It’s not just about my rights and my needs
and my family. It’s about all of our
families. There is an enemy out
there. He is prowling around like a
lion, looking to destroy and take away all we hold dear. Lets not mistake who our enemy really is.
There is a chance that within all these refugees looking to
come into the states that there are terrorists among them. This is a real possibility. But, I also guarantee that there are already
terrorists living in the states and others like the ones caught today looking
for illegal ways to get in. I am all for
screening these refugees and putting proper things in place to try and prevent
that from happening. But the answer isn’t
turning them away all together.
As believers, we do have a responsibility to fight on their
behalf. We are called to something
higher.
“By this we know LOVE, that he laid down his life for us and we ought
to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and see
his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love
abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in
deed and in truth.” -1 John 3:16-18
It doesn’t really get any plainer than this.
I am not asking you not to be afraid. I am not even asking you to just blindly let
anyone and everyone into your home without a thought for your safety or your
family’s safety. No . Of course, we must
be wise. This is why I am all in favor
of screenings and applications and interviews and all of the other things that
are already in place for refugees seeking asylum in other countries.
But we must not turn a blind eye on this situation. We cannot say that these families do not matter
or that it is not our responsibility to take action on their behalf. My family does not matter more to God than
theirs. My family does not deserve more
than their families do. My children do
not matter more than their children. It
just doesn’t work that way.
And one final exhortation for the church…
Please start praying and talking and planning for how you
are going to help these families. Just
because they have been physically rescued from those trying to hunt and kill
them does not mean that their plight has ended.
Most will not know English. Most
will not be able to find jobs. Most will
still be wondering where their next meal is going to come from. Most will be feeling isolated and alone.
If there was ever a
time for the church to shine so bright, it is now. Light shines the brightest in the darkness. Now is the time to let your light shine. Be the hands and feet. Open your doors. Open your homes. Show these families what love looks like in
action and not just in word and deed.
I have often asked God why I wasn’t born in a different era.
I have often felt like the weight of this time in the world is too heavy and
the burden too great.
But then I remember those famous words that Mordecai spoke
to Queen Ester, “And who knows whether
you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
May God use us all for such a time as this…a time that looks
darker, bleaker, and scarier than ever before.
