Because I just can't take it anymore...

First of all, I just want to say thank you…thank you for taking the time to stop in and read this blog. I know that there are like thousands of them out there these days vying for your time, and I also know that nothing I am saying here is especially unique or original, so thank you. Thank you for having even a remote interest in my little corner of the internet.  

This blog has kind of become a dear friend to me these days. I feel a bit over stimulated with everything happening all around me, so this blog is where I kind of digest and process it all.   

Lately, though, I haven’t really wanted to digest at all. I have just wanted to tune it all out.  It all seems so loud and obnoxious…everything going on in the world that I just want to turn it off.  Walk away.  Ignore it all.

The thing is I am sad.  And mad. I am smad.  (What TV show or movie is that from?  Oh man that is going to bug me.)

There is so much fighting these days.  There is so much hate. There is so much pain.  I know every generation could probably say the same thing, but really guys…don’t you see it too?  Doesn’t it seem like we have reached new heights in our wars of words.  I think the internet has made it all worse.  People can just toss things out there without having to face the repercussions that they might have to deal with if they said those things in real life. 

And do you want to know what I think is the worst part of it all?  We Christians are a major part of the problem.  We hide behind bible verses and make excuses for our lack of a filter with statements like “We have to defend [insert cause].” “They need to be aware that what they are doing is a sin.” “We have to stand up for what is right.” “Their theology is completely messed up.” “Jesus never would have done/said that.” “They are way too liberal.” They are way too conservative.” 

Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.


I am sick of it.

I am so tired of it that it is keeping me awake at night.

I am scared for my kids and constantly asking God to grant me wisdom as parent them and lead them.  That world out there is cruel.  I want my kids to not only learn how to develop a tough skin so that they aren’t constantly hurt by it all, but I also want them to be a light in the madness and not a participant.

So I want to drown out the chaos and noise. I want to ignore it and pretend it isn’t there because my heart is just aching at the way we are treating each other.  

But, I know that if I turn it off then I am going to start to be indifferent to it all.  

And that to me is one of the worst places in the world to be.  

Dietrich Bonehoeffer is one of my heroes.  I devoured his biography a couple of years ago and am ready to dive in again.  I admire so many things about him.  I even wrote a whole post a couple of years ago just about him!  But this is what he had to say about the folks that try to be good people and go to church and do their thing without really taking an interest in the needs and hurts of those around him.  

“Such people neither steal, nor murder, nor commit adultery, but do good according to their abilities. But…they must close their eyes and ears to the injustice around them. Only at the cost of self-deception can they keep their private blamelessness clean from the stains of responsible action in the world. In all that they do, what they fail to do will not let them rest. They will either be destroyed by this unrest, or they will become the most hypocritical of all Pharisees.”

Sobering words.

So no I can’t tune it all out.  I am called to action.  I know sometimes action will require me joining the picket lines so to speak.  Other times it will mean holding my tongue when all I want to do is speak out.  

But how am I to know for sure?  How do I know when to fight and when to stand down? How do I stand up to so many of the injustices I see all around me without becoming part of the noise and chaos myself? How do I lead my kids and teach them what it looks like to really…and I mean really love their neighbor?  

I don’t know what those answers are for you, but this is what I have felt like the Lord has been saying to me.

“Love me Sara.” “Know me Sara.” “See my heart Sara.” “Walk in my steps Sara.”  

Oh Jesus that I may know you more! 

You see friends sometimes I get confused by it all.  I don’t always have all the answers.  I don’t have perfect theology.  I may not fall on the correct side politically.  I may be too conservative. I may be too liberal.  I may be too quiet. I may be too loud.  I may be a lot of things.

But at the end of it all, I want people to say, “Sara loved like Jesus. She was a light in the darkness.”  I don’t want them to say that because I am something great. I am just plain old ordinary Sara. 

But, my Jesus….He is Great.  He is so great, and I want the world to see Him and know Him and love Him.

Maybe then the madness will stop.  And instead of fighting we will start loving.  We won’t be face to face in battle but hand in hand in friendship. We will start striving to change things like human trafficking and poverty and lack of clean water instead of fighting about who is right and who is wrong. 

We are in this together. 

Kids are going into schools and shooting other kids.  Malls are no longer safe.  Movie theaters aren't safe.  Our own front yards aren't safe.

We throw up our hands and cry and pray for it to be different.  But, yet we adults are throwing internet stones at each other every day and degrading each other with words and trying to pass laws only meant to hurt and exclude.  

We aren't any better.  

We are the example of hate.


I beg of you.   Let's make it stop.

I am starting by spending my time only in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) right now.  Obviously I love the entire Word of God, but right now I just want to know Jesus better. I want to know Him more.  I want to fellowship with Him.  And the best way I can think of doing that is to just sit with Him for a while.

Because oh baby did my Jesus know how to love.  He loved.  He is, was, and will always be the ultimate example of love.
Who is with me?  Let’s let Jesus’ light shine my friends.  

No more hate.
No more sides.
We have to do this together.

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Some bits and bobbits about this blog...

This blog is mostly just ramblings by yours truly. I talk about my ups and downs being a wife, mother, and missionary in Guatemala. I have a tendency to get off on "soapboxes" as those who love me say but it is my desire that this blog can be a place of encouragement in each of your pilgrimages with Christ. At any moment if this blog becomes more about me than about Christ, than it will be done and please help me stay accountable. To God be all the Glory, Honor, and Power!

Books I am currently reading...

  • Eight Twenty Eight
  • Interrupted
  • The Connected Child
  • This Momentary Marriage
  • Unbroken

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